She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize