Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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