does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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