Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
