brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Duck Duck Cougar?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
