I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Alive.
So much puke
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
