Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
