im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
