At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
