umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
