i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
