Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
People in love make me want to vomit
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
