Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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