i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
