well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
