their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
