You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
