he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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