Can i not drive my cunt home
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
