Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
