so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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