u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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