she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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