A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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