I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
