Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
