Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
