just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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