first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
