So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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