Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish you could order shots online.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
