I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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