Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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