Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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