Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
