I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
