PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
