she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
