i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
