hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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