He is such a slut. More and more my type.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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