I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
