What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
