Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
