maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
