I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
