Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
