Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
