Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
