He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
