Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
