He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
