Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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