me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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