youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
