Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
