I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
high people should be assigned attendants
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
