I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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