I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
