do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
